Saturday, May 5, 2012

Y3W: Friend in Me!

Apert's Syndrome.
Have you heard of it?  Chances are...no.  No, you haven't heard of this condition that only 1 in 160,000-200,000 chidren are born with.  If you've been reading my blog for a while now, you know my best friend's son, Aiden, was born with Apert's Syndrome.
To know more about Aiden's story, read this:  Aiden's Story
Now...I don't want the "theme" of this post to be about me or my kid's.  At all. I want it to be how I show my boys how to embrace what God gave you. 
Ty is talkative.  I'd say his he has the vocabulary of an average 7 year old.  He'll be 4 in July.
Taryn has been advocating since Aiden was born to educate your children.  Tell them that God makes everyone unique.  And, do this from day 1.  Kid's are curious.  They ask questions.  So, when they ask:  tell them!
"You've Got a Friend in Me"
Ty and Aiden
So I followed her instructions. 
As we talked about seeing Taryn and her boys at our annual Christmas visit, I'll admit I was kind of puzzled.  I showed Ty pictures and told him how when Aiden was born his hands were like fists.  I showed him what they looked like then with my own hand, and then showed him pictures of what they look like now. 
He didn't budge.  He was like "but now he's got fingers like me Mama".  And, that was it. 
Yes, Aiden does have finger's like us now.  Sure, they're a little bigger (stronger, as I like to say), but they're Aiden's hands.  They're "him". 
I didn't want to point things out to him, but I also didn't want him to stare and hurt Aiden's feelings in any way at all.  I also knew that Taryn would be happy to talk about Aiden's cool hands but Ty didn't think it was a big deal at all.  In fact, it was never brought up.
Most recently, Aiden had a cranio vault surgery that basically changed the entire shape of his head.  On Sunday night, Ty and I read the book Aiden and Ethan got him his first Christmas: "What a Friend Is".  I showed him pictures of Aiden's head and hands again, and we prayed for Aiden to have a safe surgery and quick recovery. 
Ty likes to pray.  And, he likes to ask questions during his prayers too...
Me:  God, please be with Aiden this week during his surgery...
Ty:  Mama, why does God make Aiden have surgery?"--he chimed in mid-prayer.
I panicked.
We'd talked about how God made Aiden's hands different, but now Ty wanted to know why God would do that to Aiden.
Hmmmm....
The best answer I came up with was that God makes everyone different.  I'm a girl, he's a boy.  Some people have dark skin, some people have light skin, some people have big feet, and some people have to have surgery to fix things.
I didn't get into how it's not fair.  I didn't tell him that Taryn and Ricky's hearts break each time Aiden has to have a surgery.  Or, how Aiden just asked Taryn for the first time why his hands looked "different". 
What I really just want is for Ty and Ace to love everyone. 
Me and Taryn:  Little Fire Big Heart 2010
So, please.  Educate yourself.  Educate your children.  And, with that, I will share the link to Taryn's book she created and read to Aiden's preschool class last year. 
All About Aiden
It's $25 to print, or free to view online.  She's not making any money--she's just spreading awareness.
Aiden:  No matter the miles between us, how many states are between us, and no matter the time it is between visits with your FAVORITE Kentucky friends, please know:  You will always have a friend in Ty and Ace.  We will support you and pray for you.  And, we love you.
Your Mama and I could only dream that Ty, Ace, Ethan and you would be college roommates. 
T, we have about 15 years to make that happen :)

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