|Ty and Ace. Krogering with me. |
Thinking about the germy car they're in? We all need 'em.
I think he's singing it to me when he sings the chorus.
My weekends are my days off. Sometimes it feels like those days are endless. Never ending.
The boys won't nap. They only want to eat junk. They whine. My mind spins out of control about all the things I should be doing--cleaning, organizing, untangling the necklaces in my top drawer, cooking ahead for the next week, sorting through the boys closets...
Yet, my 2 little Lillpop's don't understand.
They don't get that Mama has other "jobs" besides my day job. You know, the one that pays the bills. They don't understand that they can't live on hot dogs and gummy snacks. And they surely don't understand why Daddy is always gone right now. They don't get "baseball". They don't understand why Daddy is home late during the week and not at home on weekends right now.
And yet, I have this baby bug stuff going on again. It seem's like baby fever is in the air again with everyone I know. Yep, I've caught it.
I'm so worn out. So exhausted. So tired.
But I can't seem to quit thinking that a 3rd baby will make our family complete. I don't want to have regrets of choosing not to. No one seem's to think like me...our families think I'm crazy. Actually, I'm thinking they'd be kind of...well, I just don't know how the news would be taken. They help us out a lot.
Todd is...well, I think he's open...but not "sold". Money. Time. What if...
But, you only live once. How fun much fun would 3 kiddos have, with their families down the road, at Christmas. Celebrating Birthday's. Vacations. I think about that. I think about the future with the "more the merrier" mentality.
Now, it's work. Hard work. But, these are the days. This IS what life is about.
It's kind of like the pain of childbirth. It hurts. Bad. But, you do it again because that feeling of seeing your baby you've grown inside you is an absolute miracle. It is worth it. You forget the pain. You remember feeling love at first site. And, it's the best feeling in the world.
No, I don't want a girl. No, I don't want a boy. I want a baby.
Because it really won't be like this for long.